cuts will be cuts. cuts will bleed. i still havent gotten rid of that horrible habit of mine. yet again, i proved myself wrong. as stupid as i can be, i did it.

i broke down this afternoon. i really couldnt take it anymore. i just teared up for no apparent reason. the pain was there, but the motive was not. but it hurt, it hurt so badly. i wish i knew what was wrong with me so i could live a normal life again. a normal life with her. i love her so dearly and now im stuck on my own yet again. loneliness is just in my blood. somehow i cant get rid of it.

i felt so down today i just wanted to take the knife and slit my wrist. i hate myself. people who hate themselves most probably would commit suicide right? well, soon enough, it will happen. one way or another. ill wait.

im no superman.
rick.